Paper Gangsta


(Photo by Nelly Tatti)

It’s entertaining how people find my domain name weird. Of course I know that you should pick a name that would be easy for people to remember. The name should describe your website well or at least be as short as possible. I say the rules have made to break. One friend of mine said it the best “Oh what a fortune that it wasn’t taken yet!” I just love it! LOOK AT IT!

As some of you might know I love to dress up. And go to a metal gigs with my streetstyle cap or in a hippie outfit. And going to a rapper’s gig… you just got to be the one metalhead, who gets all the bad looks. No option. I make it for the people who think that once you listen to metal you’ve got to look like it. I just cannot understand the whole point in it.

And let me tell you about my childhood… I started listening to metal because my dad is an old metalhead. We would drive the old Corvette and buy me some frikking high heels, made of black pvc plastic having the studds on them. I was a cool kid, colored my hair in all the rainbow’s colors. But at some point I got pretty depressed. One of my teachers asked me that “why won’t you try listening to some happy music instead? And try to dress in some colors?” Well of course I wouldn’t listen to her opinion at all since I always had to explan why I did the things I did anyway. I wasn’t being an angry kid, I was a very happy one actually, but something kept me in the dark all that time. But many years after that I suddenly started to lighten up.


(Photo by Janika Mattsson)

For all my adolescence I was singing  and crowling in metal bands. We would go to play in all the darkest clubs and put up a great party. Then my most important band broke and I didn’t know what to do. I actually lost everything I had even I didn’t show it outside. Since then I spent many years playing synth and singing backing vocals in some rock bands and just helping my friends out. I didn’t want to put up a band of my own, ’cause I didn’t know who I was as a musician. Then somebody popped up an idea: “why wouldn’t you start a career as an artist?” But I already had my answer ready “I think that an artist doesn’t make music – the bands make the music”

But it hit me hard. I didn’t even understand what happened, but suddenly the music just started to pour out. I also dropped out all of my old dressing habits, because there was no one who I owed anything. I don’t need to be in a one place, I can be everywhere.  I produced some alternative metal, then some rock and suddenly I found myself making pop – which was a mind-blowing experience. I had my best friends helping me out and we went to play a few gigs under an alias name, so nobody would know me and the audience could listen to the music without having any expectations. This is where I am now… everywhere. I feel free.


(Photo by Nelly Tatti)

With my heartbeats,


p.s. Don’t forget to follow me if you want to join the party! Also the Facebook “Like”-button is there… finally!


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